A Round Robin Christmas
by agent000
Summary: There is something so wrong with allowing too many people to help you write a story. It comes out terrible, so terrible that you want to see what will happen next. Please, don't read this story, the writers don't need the encouragement in their stupidity!
1. Chapter 1

**_Okay, here's a little something for Christmas, for all of those of you who want something to read over the holidays...though this might give you nightmares once you're done, I'm warning you, hehe. This is what is called a Round Robin story, where one person starts it, another continues it, followed by another, and so on. This story was written by a number of different people, as is probably self-evident, heh. I do Round Robin games every so often, and I was trying to figure out how to incorporate some of them, as well as write something for Christmas...so, here you go! Enjoy, and be disturbed._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and after this fic, I probably don't want to take credit for it anyway, hehe._**

Twas the night before Christmas,  
The streets covered with snow,  
When here came Santa Claus,  
His main elf in tow.  
They sauntered along,  
Over his shoulder slung a bag,  
He "ho hoed" and "ha haed"  
Causing the elf's face to drag.

The elf groaned and snapped angrily, "WILL YOU STOP WITH THE RHYMING ALREADY?! Just focus on keeping the sleigh steady!" The elf then groaned again, realising what he just said. "Now you've got ME rhyming!"

In response to the elf's little outburst, Santa Claus himself had to come up with one of his own, which consisted mainly of, "HO HO HOOOOOOOOO!!!! That's the Christmas spirit! Why, I remember a Christmas a long time ago in which my father went and gave all the families in his neighborhood..."

"I've heard that one already," interrupted the elf.

"Well, then have I ever told you about the time when my grandfather went and...?"

"Heard it," said the elf.

"What about the time...?"

"HEARD IT!" said the elf emphatically.

"Okay, so you've heard it," said Santa Claus.

The elf sighed and pointed ahead of them. "Look, here's the last stop we have to make. But please, PLEASE make sure to not to land too hard or HO HO HOOO so loud that you wake up the residents like last time."

Santa blinked in surprise and looked squarely at his elf. "I was just trying to spread some Christmas cheer to that household. How was I supposed to know that it belonged to a grumpy old lawyer who possessed a rifle which he kept beside his bed at all times?"

The elf slapped his face and slowly worked his hand back down to the reigns on the sleigh. "Honestly, how did you ever get to be Santa if you don't know things like that? And how did I ever get talked into working with you?"

"Well," began Santa, "The head elf told you to come work with me, because he said that an amazing elf such as yourself would be a most excellent partner for helping Santa deliver all the gifts. Also that he would make sure you drank milk for a week if you didn't accept the job."

"The jerk," said the elf, whose identity had not been revealed outright, but whom everyone was quite aware by now of his identity regardless, "How did he ever get to be the head elf anyway? It's not fair, I don't want to play an elf!"

Santa shrugged nonchalantly and continued looking forward as he said, "He threatened to melt the North Pole if he wasn't made the head elf, so we let him."

The elf, er, Ed, since we might as well use his name since everyone knows exactly who he is, glared some more at nothing in particular and his grip tightened on the reigns as though about to strangle them to death. "Why the heck do we even care about the North Pole? No one even lives there! You don't honestly think you're really Santa Claus, do you?"

"Of course I am! At least, for now." Ed simply sighed and shook his head. "Where has all your Christmas spirit gone?" asked Santa.

"What are you talking about? I never had Christmas spirit to begin with!" Ed yelled.

"Shh! If you're not quiet you'll wake up everyone in the neighborhood!" said Santa.

"As if you should be telling _me_ this." Ed said.

Finally, the two stopped the sleigh in front of the house that they were supposed to make a delivery to. Ed couldn't help but wish that just for this one night, that they actually did have Santa's sleigh so that they could fly away without getting caught, since he hated to have people see him in this stupid outfit, but such a thing was not to be. Santa still enjoyed very much the prospect of breaking into people's houses, but seeing as how chimneys were usually far too narrow to do so safely, he generally employed the window method, or when all else failed, he would use his special alchemy technique that had been passed down through his family for generations. Yes, this was bound to be a terrifyingly long night.

"Remember, quietly!" Ed whispered. "What was that?" Santa asked. "Quietly!" Ed whispered louder.

"I still can't here you. Speak up!"

"Go in quietly!!"

"What?"

Ed sighed, irritated, then said, or rather, yelled, "GO IN QUIETLY!"

The two stiffened as they heard the sound of dogs barking, and a light flickered on in the house. "Hide!" Ed said.

Santa blinked stupidly and stared at Ed as the elf tried to scramble down from the sleigh, which wasn't the wisest maneuver, seeing as how the dogs were on the ground and really couldn't get up into the sleigh, but go figure as to the way elves think. "Hide from what?" said Santa.

"The Fuhrer!" said Ed, a little louder than he probably should have, considering how he was trying to hide, but not doing a very good job at it, "The Fuhrer's going to kill us for breaking and entering. We're dead, we are so dead!"

"But...haven't we been paid to do this?" reminded Santa.

"Oh...yeah," said Ed, stopping in his tracks to think on that concept. Unfortunately, stopping in place like that made him an ample target for the dogs, who were quite happy add to their life experiences that of mauling an elf.

* * *

Roy Mustang was walking down the streets in the cold, frigid air. He could see his breath in front of him as he would exhale, and the sight just made him feel even colder. If only there was something to distract him from this chill. Of course, as fate would have it, it answered his wish. Just then, he heard footsteps behind him, and soon a small body leapt up onto his back, saying in an annoyingly cheerful voice for a day like this, "Hey Roy! What's up?" 

Roy reached a hand up to grab one of this person's wrists and pull them off of him. What he discovered surprised him. "An...elf?" "Yep Yep!! I've come from the south pole to try and grant the wishes of people here!!"

"A wish granting elf? Never heard of anything like that before." he stated, calmly.

The elf only laughed at him, and said, "Well...you get to have a wish so choose something!"

"Hmmmm..." Roy said as he rubbed his chin in thought, "What's the catch?"

The elf paused for a minute, like it had to think too, since it was obvious that it hadn't had much practice. "Um...you gotta give me a kiss?" At seeing Roy's disgusted look upon this remark, the elf waved his hands frantically and said, "Just kidding, just kidding! There's no catch. I'm just a happy, friendly, idiotic elf that grants wishes for no logical reason and doesn't even realize that he's getting the raw end of the deal in doing so."

Roy stared at the creature in perplexity for a moment, and then said, "If you really don't know all that...then why did you just say it?"

"WILL YOU WISH ALREADY!!!" shouted the elf, getting quite impatient. That was an experience Roy didn't care to repeat. Never tick off an elf.

After Roy got over his mild shock, he thought for a brief moment more, then said. "All right. I'm ready."

"Well then, go ahead and say it!" exclaimed the impatient elf.

"Okay, okay. I wish to be Fuehrer!" he said. The elf smiled and for a moment, the world spun. When everything was still again, Roy looked around, confused. "What just happened?"

"Your wish has benn granted." the elf laughed, and then, it disappeared.

Roy looked around dazedly at his surroundings. Did he really get his wish? Was he really Fuhrer? There was only one way to find out. He walked along the cold street until he found himself back at the military headquarters. He had to find her. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!" he called, but didn't receive an immediate response. Well, duh...she's not likely to be waiting just inside the door for you, Roy. He made some inquiries around and found her location, so he marched right to the room where she was and slammed the door open in mock rage. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!" he demanded, "Why aren't you in uniform?"

"Sir?" she asked, confused. "Where is your miniskirt?"

"My what?" he asked, confused.

"Your miniskirt," Riza repeated. Roy thought for a moment. Did he hear that right? The word rang in his head a couple of times before he realized he heard right. Miniskirt? MINISKIRT? He had to control himself from shouting out with happiness. He really did hear miniskirt! Riza gave him a weird look as she watched him grinning and mumbling to himself for no reason.

"Sir? Are you all right?"

"Yes!" he shouted. "Yes yes yes yes yes!!!"

Roy dancing around the room. Riza was shocked and feeling slightly tramatized. "Uh... sir?" She asked, but Roy was just way too busy dancing to care.

Riza stood and stared at her commanding officer for a moment. She didn't know he could dance like that! Before she could ponder it any longer, however, she could hear some bickering just down the hall.

"Al, I promise, just one punch-"

"Brother, we've been over this. You can't beat him to a pulp and you know it."

"B-but, Al-"

"No! Just because you were stupid enough to let those dogs get you isn't reason enough to beat up the Colonel over it."

"You're no fun." Edward grumbled under his breath as he reached for the door handle. He opened it and began walking through the door. Ed gave one glance in Mustang's direction, stared a second, and sat down. Roy continued to get his groove on as Al came in. The teen stared in what seemed to be a mix of trauma and confusion. He sat down next to his brother, giving Riza a glance. She grimaced and shrugged back at them.

"Brohter, is it just me or…"

"Al," Edward said quite frankly, "Mustang has always been this way, you know that."

Al stared a slight bit longer at his older brother before turning his head to look at the Colonel. "Yeah, right..."

The Colonel shook his rear, making Ed twitch and shiver in horror. "However, that's a new one." He muttered as Al shielded his face.

Lieutenant Hawkeye pulled her gun out of its holster and clicked off the safety, aiming it ready and loaded for Mustang's head. "Colonel, sit down." She ordered, but he didn't stop. Sadly, he didn't stop and just proceeded, grinning and singing and dancing. Prancing about happily.

Riza stared a bit longer before giving up and sighing, dropping her hand to her sides, then putting the safety back on and shifting to put the gun away.

Another bizarre bottom wagging movement from the Colonel changed Hawkeye's mind at the last moment. In one smooth motion, her hand came up, the safety snapped off, and she fired.

Roy stopped short, snapping to attention as if he were the subordinate and not the other way around. A single button from his uniform hit the floor in the reigning quiet that followed the shot. So silent was the room that the occupants could hear all three pieces of the button hit individually as the button bounced and split apart. Roy opened his mouth to speak.

"R-Riza..." he said, still in a state of shock.

"Where is your miniskirt?" she repeated her question from before Roy started dancing. Ed and Al's jaws dropped to the floor. Roy looked more shocked than before.

"W-what are you talking about? I have to...?" Riza only nodded, and Ed burst out laughing while pointing at Roy. Roy turned to glare at him and saw Alphonse looked shocked. Not only that, but he was trying not to laugh himself.

Roy stood erect, embarrassment flushing over him and running off in a ripple effect to everyone else in the room. Him? Miniskirt? "N-No, I thought that-"

"You know the rules," interrupted Riza, "All male personnel in the military must wear miniskirts."

Roy's jaw dropped and he felt like he was melting into the floor. Something had gone wrong with that wish, very wrong. How he wished he could just melt into the floor for real...wait a minute, he WAS melting into the floor for real! "Help!" he cried out, reaching out his hands in every which direction to try and grab something, "I'm melting, I'm melting!"

Everyone stared at the seemingly melting Mustang. Ed looked at Roy then at Riza and then he looked at Al. "Why does this remind me of the Wizard of Oz?" He asked.

Al shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know brother. Truthfully, I don't recall ever seeing the film, but..." He trailed off as Riza seemed to stare at Mustang with confusion written all over her face.

"Sir...uh...sir?" She started before the door opened again.

"Hey, chie---waaaah!? Hawkeye, what the heck is going on?!" A dirty blond man with a cigarette hanging from his lip shouted in shock. Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc had just entered!

Ed gave Havoc a snort of acknowledgement. "I've been waiting all day for this." He got up and marched over to his distressed superior. "Knock it off stupid Colonel!" He hauled back a fist and aimed it at the melting Mustang's face.

"Blub!" said Roy in response, no one quite sure whether that was a cry of alarm, pain, or even a statement that he had enjoyed getting punched in the face. Regardless, he continued the melting process as though he had been completely undisturbed, and soon was nothing more than a puddle spread all over the carpet.

**_Anyone curious as to who the stupid idiots were that wrote all this? If I can remember correctly, those stupid idiots' FF names were: agent000(yes, me), DEMONICfang, SakuraSagura, Ishte, AutoMailAlchemist, and The Demonic Winged Wolf. If I can find a way to incorporate the other Round Robin that I did recently, then I'll have to include the names of Ayumi Elric and StormxKira, but I can't include them yet until I post that particular story, hehe._**

**_Anyway, feel free to leave some reviews if you want the madness to continue. As it is, I'm honestly not sure of the response, heh, but I'd love to see what it is and if it's worth continuing to do. Also, if any of you want to help(?) create more scenes for this stupid Round Robin story, let me know, and I can see if we can schedule a time for us to chat online to create it, heh._**

**_Hope to hear from you all soon!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_I haven't been able to figure out how to fit this one in properly, but considering the response I got for the last one, I figured I ought to upload this other one anyway. Maybe everything will get tied in later...or not. We'll see. _**

**_We actually never ended this one, so it stops kind of abruptly. ((And I was going to let Ayumi Elric upload it, but she's being slooooow about it, so that's just too bad! Meh!)) So, this particular segment of the un-story that this is was written by Ayumi Elric, StormxKira, and yours truly, hehe. Though we probably shouldn't be taking credit for it. With the exception of the mental pictures we gave you last time of the miniskirted dancing Roy, this one is worse for the most part...well...sort of...you make up your own mind._**

**_And please forgive the fact that it's not finished. We honestly don't know where we want to go with this. Any of you insane readers know?_**

**_Disclaimer: We're not going to even try to claim ownership to this. We don't want it now._**

It was a bright sunny day and Edward was walking down the streets, minding his own business. Nothing could upset him on a day like this. Well, nothing could upset him until he heard someone from behind him call "Hey, shorty!"  
Edward whipped around to glare at the offender, eyes narrowed furiously. "WHO DARE CALL THE GREAT FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST SHORT?!" he shouted. "Me, of course!" came the voice's response.  
Before Ed could find out who dare insulted him, a cream pie collided with his face. Cream spewed everywhere as he toppled over in surprise.

Ed shook his head vigorously amidst spitting out tar and feathers ((where the heck did those come from? It was just a pie!)) and then finally turned around to behold his attacker. Ed's face turned a shade of deathly pale as he suddenly realized who it was.

"Nice one, pipsqueak." The emerald haired sin Envy smirked, armed with a second pie at the ready. He threw it, hitting him square in the face once again.

Edward sputtered as the second pie slammed him in the face, angrily wiping the cream from his face. He glared at Envy. "PIPSQUEAK?! Who are you to throw insults, you darn palm tree?!"

Envy staggered back a couple steps and sputtered, "Palm tree? PALM TREE? I'll show you a palm tree!" And in that instant, Envy turned into a palm tree.

Ed stared in shock and confusion. "What the?" He muttered, clambering to his feet. He poked the Envy tree a few times.

"Wow...that has to be the weirdest thing I've seen all day," Edward blinked. He stared at the now-palm-tree-fied Envy and a wild smirk flashed across his face. Clapping his hands together, he transmuted his famous automail blade and grinned wickedly at the Homunculus. "Time to cut down a tree"

Suddenly the Envy tree started shaking timidly, and oddly, started talking. "Nooooo! Have mercy pretty mommy, have mercy!"

Ed laughed evilly, holding a flashlight under his face to get the better effect of evilness. "Never!!!!" He shouted, lifting his blade high. "Timber!" He shouted, about to take a swipe when..."STOP!"

Ed glanced back to see who had tried to stop him, but yelped in surprise when instead yet another pie slammed into his face. Blueberries splattered about, and as the dish from the pie oozed off his face, he was covered in blueberry globs. He quickly licked some pie from his lips, then resumed his glare. "What the heck?!"

"But Brother, I thought that you liked blueberry," said a very woeful Al, shoulders slumped forward as though about to cry. Ed rolled his eyes. "Well...I do...just not...THAT way...and besides, I need to cut down this tree. Wanna help me?"

Al blinked slowly. "Why is there a tree in the middle of the street, anyway?" He asked curiously, poking the tree. "Stop doing that!" Envy snapped. Al squeaked and hid behind his brother. "Brother! The tree's haunted!"

Edward blinked at him. "No, it's not haunted Al!" he snapped. "It's Envy! I called him a palm tree and then he turned into one! So help me cut him down!" he smirked.

Al blinked a few times as he registered this new concept. "So...when you call someone something, they turn into that thing? Is that a power of yours?" Al stopped for a second, completely ignoring whatever Ed was saying to deny this statement. "Wait, maybe it's an Elric power!" Turning to his brother, he pointed and then shouted, "Shorty!"

A giant vein popped on Ed's head. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING-Wait, what's going on?!?!" Ed started randomly shrinking until he was the size of a pickle. "Nuuuu!" Ed screamed, clutching his head. Al gasped, covering his mouth in shock. "Sorry, Brother!"

Edward stared at himself in dismay, then looked back up at Al. Or, tried to. Alphonse was now so much taller than him that he toppled over backwards just trying to look up that far. "Say I'm tall! Say I'm tall!" he pleaded.

Al smiled, obviously contemplating the situation, and then said, "I don't know, Brother, you're kinda cute this way." Al then reached down and picked up the tiny little growling Ed, patted him a couple times on the head, and then stuck him in his pocket.

Ed fell down the abyss of Al's pocket, landing in a huge pile of lint. He coughed on a minute fuzzball, clambering off the lint and looked around. His eyes widened when he saw the huge mint a couple of feet ahead of him. "Sugar!" He cheered, jumping onto the huge mint.

Edward quickly tried unwrapping the mint, but the plastic was stubborn and refused to bend for him. "Darn it!" he muttered, gnawing at the end of the plastic as he tried to get it to untie. "I--want--my--mint!" he growled between rips.

"Having trouble, Brother?" said Al, hearing Ed's shouts of fury and so sticking his hand down into his pocket. "Ouch!" he yelled a moment later and quickly withdrew his hand. One of his fingers bore tiny little teeth marks.

"Why can't I get this darn mint open?!?!" Ed yelled in frustration, his mouth full of shredded plastic. He spit it out and realized that he still had his automail blade. Getting an evil idea, he started stabbing the plastic of the mint wrapper. "The mint is mine!" He yelled in triumph, diving into the hole he had pierced and gnawned on the mint.

Edward gnawed on the mint contentedly, breaking off chunks at a time with his automail. When the last chunk was gone, he glanced around in the pocket for any other goodies hidden in the lint. "Dang..." he muttered, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Al," Ed called from inside the pocket, "Do you have anything else around that I could munch on?" Al stopped what he was doing and flinched. What was wrong with his brother? That voice was waaaaay too high-pitched.

"Um...oh! There's a lollipop in there." Al said, hoping he could still use his powers. And, as he had hoped, a green lollipop appeared in his pocket. Ed grinned. "Yippee!" He cried, starting to scoot his way up the lollipop stick.  
"Blast it! Another wrapper!" Ed sighed. "No matter! No wrapper is a match for the great Edward Elric!" he said dramatically, flashing his blade. "Have at you!" he smirked, swiping at the lollipop wrapper.  
However, when he swiped at the wrapper, the inertia created by the movement knocked him off of his hold, and he fell down to the bottom of Al's pocket. Sometime later, he wasn't sure when, he opened his eyes and said, "Who am I?" only to notice the giant lollipop a moment later and say, "I'm in CandyLand!"

"Where there's lollipops, there's sure to be Princess Lolly!" Ed proclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I'll find you, Princess!" He yelled, loud enough for Al to hear, and started making his way up the lollipop again.

"Are you trapped inside the wrapper, Princess Lolly?! Egad! You say the KING put you there?! I always knew that fat oaf was no good!" he scoffed, trying to slice open the wrapper again. "Don't worry, Princess, once you're out of here, we can go find that old hag with all the peanut brittle!"

Al bent his head down and peered into his pocket, observing his tiny brother trying to slash open the lollipop. "Brother, what are you doing?" He reached into his pocket and pulled both Ed and the lollipop out. Ed blinked a couple times at the sudden intrusion and then shouted, "Ahhhhhhhhh!! Wait, what are you? Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"

"Slay the beast! Kill the monster! I have to protect Princess Lolly!!!" Ed shouted madly, brandishing his blade around. Al stared at him for a long time. "Brother, have you gone crazy?" He finally sighed.

Edward looked at Al in disbelief, as if it were the most obvious thing on earth. "Crazy?! What are you talking about, Al?! Princess Lolly is suffocating in Lollipop Forest and I have to save her!" He blinked, a sudden suspcious look dawning on him. "Oh...I see..." he narrowed his eyes. "You're jealous! You want the princess for yourself!!"

"Wait, what?" Al said, shaking his head to make sure he had heard right, but nothing else was coming to mind. He turned back to his brother. "I think you've had a little too much sugar. I guess I should return you to your normal height, though you're cute this way...but kinda crazy."

"Crazy, bah!!! You're just trying to steal Lolly from me! Well, that ain't gonna work!" Ed shook his fist up at his brother and ran across his palm to tackle into the lollipop. "For Lolly!" He yelled, jumping through the air and...missing his target. Instead, he fell through Al's fingers and fell towards the ground. "AAAHH!"

As Edward plummeted to the ground, he tried to scrabble for something to grab onto. "FORGIVE ME LOLLYYYYY!" he called desperately. Just then, a sparrow swooped down and grasped Edward in its talons, flying towards a nearby tree and landing on a low branch. It chirped triumphantly while Edward wriggled around in frustration. "You're that king, aren't you?!" he said maniacally. "I'll teach you for kidnapping my love!" And with that, he bit down on the sparrow's foot. However, the sparrow felt nothing stronger than a tick bite and promptly pecked Ed on the head.

Al barely had time to react to Ed having slipped through his fingers before the sparrow had taken off with him. As soon as he was aware of what had happened, he ran madly in the direction that the sparrow had flown while shouting, "No, that's my brother, give him back! He's not a worm, don't eat him!"

"Aiyaa! That's gonna leave a mark!" Ed said dizzily before falling over unconscious. He woke up exactly 5 seconds later and looked around. "Whoozah what?" He looked up at the bird. "Augh! Monster! Run away!" He yelled, leaping off the nest. He then realized how high he was and cursed, just before falling and screaming.

The sparrow, not so eager to give up her meal, chirped and dove down after her prey, catching him in her beak. However, Ed was still flailing and shouting incoherently, and his tiny automail poked the sparrow in the forehead. Shocked, the sparrow screeched, dropping the blonde again and flying back to its nest. "You're so mean!!" she cried, hiding her face behind her wing.

Just then, right before Ed was inches from hitting the ground, he remembered something important. A confident grin setting on his face, he twisted in the air and pumped his fist into the air. "Up, up and away!" He shouted, flying up into the air. He squealed excitedly and flew past Al. "Tra-la-laaaa!"

Al looked on from his stationary position nearby and his jaw dropped open at the sight. "Brother..." he said as his voice trailed off, "You've become a...a fairy!"

Edward hovered in place for a moment, staring at Al before he felt wings sprout from his back. It didn't hurt much, but it was rather awkward. The blonde grimaced at the girliness of his new, sparkly butterfly wings, but didn't have much time to mull it over before his clothes shifted into a bright red frilly dress. "Oh...this is wrong on so many levels..."

"But..." Ed trailed off, staring at the girlish pink wand he was now holding. "It feels so...right!" He grinned and posed cutely, twirling in the air. Al stared at him, his eyes twitching as he watched his older brother pose in different ways, then pretend to walk the catwalk in the air. "Nightmares...gonna get nightmares..." Al murmured.

Edward smirked. "Again, you're just jealous Al! There's no way you could have as much grace and beauty as me...Dear god what am I SAYING?!" he froze, the sugar now starting to wear off and his senses returning. "And yet..."

Suddenly Al felt a tap on his shoulder. Startled, he whirled around to see who had approached him so suddenly, and looked up into the face of a...well...he didn't know what it was. "What are you?" he asked, as though the look on his face hadn't already asked the question. "Didn't you just order a nightmare?" the thing said, "I hope I've got the right address. I'm supposed to scare somebody."

"For some reason..." Ed continued shakily, despite the fact that Al was no longer paying attention. "It feels...good somehow..the excitement...the grace...the strange breeze I'm starting to feel somewhere I've never felt it before...this feels great!" Ed gasped in horror. "Ah, no! I'm turning into a crossdresser! No!"

Edward flitted over to Al and grabbed his shoulders. "Al! Call me tall! Right. NOW!" he pleaded. "I don't wanna be a cross-dressing fairy! Please, please don't let me be a giiiirl," he moaned.

Al blinked a couple times. This wasn't a sight one saw every day...or a conversation for that matter. "You're a girl?" Al asked. Oops, wrong thing to say.

Instantly, a pair of rather large breasts appeared on Ed's chest, filling up the empty space in his dress. And...ahem...some private areas were changed too. Ed gasped in shock, his voice an octave higher. "Nooooooo!!!" He screamed in a high pitched, girly way.

Edward's eyes narrowed at Alphonse. "Oh yeah?!" he growled in his high-pitched voice. "Two can play at that game, you pickle!"

Al's skin suddenly turned green and he shrunk away into a pickle. Ed had a brief moment of glee and danced around in the air before he remembered a critical point: If Al couldn't talk, then he couldn't exactly turn him back to normal, now could he? Ed glared back down at the pickle and said, "I mean...you pickle with a mouth!"

A tiny mouth appeared on the Al pickle. Al pouted with his new mouth and crossed his...pickle arms. "That's not fair, Brother! I don't even like pickles!" He squeaked. "Now I'm not turning you back you...you..." He trailed off, trying to figure out what to say.

"Say one word and I turn you into your worst fear!" Ed threatened, though he had to admit it lacked severity with his new voice.

Al squeaked. "You're bluffing! You couldn't possibly turn me into a...a..." He cut himself off, shuddering hard.

"That's right, Al! I'll turn you into a newt!" Edward grinned.

Poof! Al turned into a newt. "Noooooo!!!!" Al sobbed, covering his face with his...uh...hands? "I'd rather be a girl then a newt!" he said before realizing his mistake. Al poofed once again, this time turning into a girl with a dress similar to Ed's. "Ack!" He yelped while Ed laughed.

Edward cracked up, doing little somersaults in the air as he cackled with glee. "Ha! Now you know how it feels!" he snickered.

"Well, you're still tiny, so there!" Al yelled. Ed shrunk another two inches. "Gah?! Darn it, Al, watch what you say!" Ed yelled.

Al smirked at that. "Oh? Why should I, you cootie-infested shortie!" he teased.

Ed shrunk another two inches, and tiny bugs appeared all over him that could only be assumed to be cooties. "Ew!" Ed yelled, flailing around. "You PMS-ing idiot!"

Al blinked and immediately crossed his legs, face flushing.

**_Like I said, it's not finished, and it ends abruptly. We don't know what else we want to do with it, but it was fun, hehe. Feel free to leave reviews and suggestions and "Oh my gosh, I wanna join!"s, and whatever else you fangirls do in your spare time. I wouldn't know. I'm the un-fan-girl...whatever that means...I think I've just confused myself._**

**_Anyway, see you all later!_**


End file.
